Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Benri's LiveJournal:

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Friday, March 25th, 2005
12:22 pm	Final entry This will be my last entry, although I won't be deleting my account. I've just been ignoring this site for a long time, and although it's a neat place to record some of my thoughts, it's just not something I feel like doing anymore. Toodles! Current Mood: meh Current Music: Gota - West African drumming song (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 17th, 2005
7:21 pm	Card I got a great Valentine's Day card from Susan today. It had a cat hugging a dog on the cover, and the inside said something along the lines of "In our own weird way, we work." It's so true. And I'm typing this entry as I sit in my education 402 class. I'm so terribly behind in here, but I'm having trouble seeing how it applies to my content area. I'm sure it does in some way. Current Mood: overwhelmed Current Music: Bleu "Dance, Dance, Baby Doll, Dance" (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 12th, 2005
1:49 pm	Walking down South U. When the sun is shining just right, the shadow of a parking meter looks like a svelte Mickey Mouse. And these are the things I think about when walking to eat Saturday brunch at South Quad. Current Mood: creative Current Music: "I'm So Ronery" -Kim Jong Il (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
1:54 pm	Scary Last night, after dropping off my pants at Men's Wearhouse, I saw something very scary. An ambulance pulled into a development, turned around, and went in the opposite direction from whence it had come. What kind of world do we live in where ambulances miss/forget where they're going? Current Mood: scared (Comment on this)
Monday, December 20th, 2004
1:56 pm	Final final I witnessed someone wait about four minutes for an elevator to go to the THIRD FLOOR. She was in perfect walking condition and didn't appear to be sick at all. She could've gone up the stair in about 15 SECONDS, but decided to wait for the elevator. And that's not the first time I've seen it, either. How can someone be so lazy? Just take the freakin' stairs! Anyway, let me tell you about the longest car trip I've had to take in my solo-driving history. I went to visit Susan in Milwaukee this weekend and was planning on returning today (Monday), but my parents didn't like the looks of the weather today, so they asked me to leave yesterday. I didn't want to argue with them, so I left and was making good time until I hit a highly concentrated snowstorm about 20 miles south of Chicago. Oh wait...before I continue, I should mention the jerk SUV that was tailing me and got so impatient that s/he flashed her/his brights at me...so I pulled over a lane and let the SUV pass and watched as the driver continued to weave in and out of traffic. All I could think was "Please get nailed by a cop" and what should my eyes see but a state patrol vehicle pull onto the highway right next to me! The cop saw what the SUV was doing, caught up to it, and pulled it over. It was a very sweet vindication of sorts. Anywho... So I hit this snowstorm on 94 and was stuck in traffic for about 90 minutes only to find that 94 had been closed off and they were forcing people off the highway into Michigan City, Indiana. So, with some help from my parents (Santa, I need a new cell phone), I found my way to 80/90 and hopped on the Indiana tollway and continued through shitty weather. I think the average temperature throughout this entire escapade was 12. Fahrenheit. I discovered that listening to football on AM radio (thanks Susan) keeps me much saner, especially if I have no vested interest in the game. I stopped to grab some food, and the rest stop I went to had a McDonald's and a Dairy Queen. Well, the line for McDonald's was super-long, and that's when I remembered that Dairy Queen doesn't serve just ice cream. I got a BBQ chicken sandwich, ate it, and left before the people I'd entered with had even ordered their food. Hah! So I continued driving and the weather improved. I got in at about 1:30 AM (having left at 4:30 PM, Ann Arbor time), unpacked, watched some TV, and fell asleep. I should be thankful...and I am. My car made it through the awful weather, with a little help from some random dudes who helped me out of a snowdrift in Michigan City when I was trying to turn around. That was definitely fortuitous. I didn't get tired, and the CDs Ryan Katz gave me kept me cheerful when the football was all over. The girl who served me at Dairy Queen was a little high-strung since she'd had a non-stop stream of customers from 3-whenever I was there. I almost wanted to tell her what I'd been through (having to leave my girlfriend a day early, driving through shit weather, and almost getting stuck in a deceivingly tricky pile of snow) so she could have things put in persective. But that wouldn't have helped anyone. I just paid for my food, thanked her, and ate. You never know what someone has been through, and saying the wrong thing might set them off while saying the right thing (or nothing at all) might make their day. Shit happens, but true character is shown through recovering and making the best of the shit. Now I need to eat and practice. One more final and then it's time to relax. GO MICHIGAN! BEAT THE LONGHORNS! Current Mood: thankful Current Music: "Ode to a Butterfly" -Mutual Admiration Society (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 21st, 2004
2:24 pm	Confidence Few things in life will build your confidence like successfully parallel parking in a tiny space in front of lots of people. Okay, so yesterday, I got half of what I wanted. I wanted to beat OSU, which obviously didn't happen, but I also wanted to win the bid to Rose Bowl, which we did (thanks Iowa!) Some OSU fans treated us very classy-like during the game. After the halftime show, a bunch of us went to use the bathroom, and while we were waiting in a very long line, a few fans came up to us and complimented our halftime show. One of them said something along the lines of "I can't speak for the other 105,000 assholes here, but I think you guys are really great." Then, one of the OSU band members walked by and looked at us quizzically and asked what we were doing waiting in line. He then proceeded to walk us to the OSUMB's facility attached to their stadium and let us use their restroom. That was also really classy. Then OSU won and everything changed. After the game finished, we had to sit in the stands while the fans rushed the field. I had no problem with that. They won the game really well and deserved some celebration. What made me angry was the procession of thousands of fans who went out of their way to walk in front of the band and scream the same things at us over and over again. "I don't give a damn about the whole state of Michigan, we're from O-HI-O." or "OVERRATED (clap clap clap-clap clap)" or any number of middle fingers combined with obscenities or "No more Rose Bowl" (which was kinda funny 'cuz Iowa was winning at that time). Ugh. I *thought* there were more classy fans, but this procession really made me think differently. All we could do was sit there and take it. It almost felt like some of the fans were being nice earlier in case they lost so that we couldn't say they were jackasses. Sorry, I'm just a little angry. It's tough to go to that stadium and lose because they hate us SO much more than we hate them. I don't even hate them. I'm an OSU fan 358 days of the year, and during the week leading to the game, I just don't care for their football team. I don't hate them. Oy. Such a silly thing to hate people for. I'm gonna go do something else now. Current Mood: bitter (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
11:49 am	Frightening I am scared. I am scared that, thanks to No Child Left Behind, I will not have the job security I was promised. I am scared that with another major world event (a la 9/11) I will be sent off to fight in another country. I am scared that my parents will not have the health benefits they need as their retirement approaches. I am scared that my only surviving grandparent will not be able to afford her medications. I am scared that our homophobic country won't allow social change. I am scared that the gap between the rich and poor will get larger. I am scared that our country will suffer another attack because we've pissed the world off. I am scared that a new Supreme Court may overturn Roe v. Wade. I am scared to death. Current Mood: scared Current Music: Hail to the Thief album -Radiohead (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 9th, 2004
11:36 pm	Drink I love champagne and fgruity wines. I love SUsan. I walk funny when I'm drunk. Current Mood: drunk Current Music: Black Sabbath (Comment on this)
2:00 pm	Little Brown Jug Michigan 27, Minnesota 24. 'Nuf said. (Go Buckeyes!) Current Mood: happy Current Music: "The Victors" - Louis Elbel (Comment on this)
Friday, October 8th, 2004
8:01 pm	Brahms Professor Blackstone was conducting the fourth movement of Brahms requiem the other day, and at one point, he let his baton fly and yelled "go for it!" I guess he was moved by the music. It was great. And I get to sing that spectacular piece of music on February 15th. Mark your calendars. Big game tomorrow. Minnesota. I hate homecoming, mostly 'cuz I have to wake up at 5:20 tomorrow morning...but I wanted to watch the debate tonight. And now I'm watching an Australian comic talk about bumper cars. I wanna keep writing in this thing, but I never have ready access to a computer, so I always forget what I want to say. And the beard groweth. Current Mood: blah Current Music: "I Put a Spell on You" - CCR (Comment on this)
Monday, September 27th, 2004
12:41 pm	Sometimes... Sometimes people do things that make me angry. Like rob my apartment. If you ever want a shattered sense of security, have someone break into your place and steal things. It does the trick REAL quick. Okay, so I didn't really lose a whole lot. My backpack was taken and in it was my leatherman and other things of slight value. I still have my CDs and TV and SNES and books and DJs merchandise and whatnot. You may be thinking, "Well Benri, what DID they take?" My roommate's $3000 computer and XBox. And three laptops from apartments next to ours. MOTHERFUCKING SHIT. Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: "Lose My Breath" (renamed "Steal My Shit") - Destiny's Child (Comment on this)
Friday, September 10th, 2004
12:57 am	Drinking + Mariokart = drunk driving. WHEEEEEEE! (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 21st, 2004
8:47 pm	Quick things: I'm no longer an RA...this time for good. Turns out drumline and RAing are incompatible. Fuck housing. Fucking pricks. I have an apartment in University Towers with a dude name Basel. Talked with him. Sounded like a cool guy. I'll prob'ly rejoin Dicks & Janes. Someone has to keep those kids in line. Susan and I had our two year anniversary on Wednesday. I cooked without burning anything on Friday night. I can't wait to see her again. I left her this morning and I already miss her. Milwaukee's a good town, and from what I gathered, she likes it there. I'm hungry. Current Mood: down Current Music: "Homeward Bound" -Simon & Garfunkel (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 14th, 2004
1:32 am	Americas When I was in high school, my government teacher said that there are two Solon High Schools. I understood what he meant to some extent. I lived in the school that had AP classes, talented students, kids who had strong minds and opinions and good, clean habits. The other school had college prep classes, lackluster students, kids who had weak minds and opinions and poor, filthy habits. Now, we have to consider that the entire community of Solon is a bubble to begin with, and I lived in the smaller bubble within the bubble. Only a small percentage of students lived in the same "area" as me. Now I've started realizing how tiny that area really is. Not only are there multiple Solon High Schools, but there are also multiple Americas. The America I know is different from the America Vic knows is different from the America Justin knows is different from the America Gus knows is different from the America George knows. Who are these people? Well, you know who I am. Vic is a co-worker of mine who lives in a much rougher part of Cleveland. He sleeps with a .22 near his bed and has been making trips to the shooting range for the past two years. Vic is 17. Justin is my cousin who, last I heard, participates in street racing with a souped up car of some sort. His family is not as well-off as mine, but they make do. I've never known Justin to be the best student, but when it comes to cars, he knows a helluva lot. Gus is a fictional person I just made up. He is a farmer in Nebraska who works from February to November, tending crops and hoping for good weather so that he can make enough money to survive the winter. Gus has no formal education, and he lives in the knowledge that has been passed down to him from his father's father's fathers. George is our illustrious president. His America is one of wealthy industrialists who own baseball franchises and make generous contributions to political campaigns. He has gone to the top schools all his life (mostly because of his name and money), and he has been raised with the knowledge that he prob'ly won't encounter much in the way of personal strife in his lifetime. By no means am I an expert in American life. I can't begin to imagine the kind of life Vic goes through. Two days ago at work, someone attempted to run over two other people in the employee parking lot. When I asked Vic why the hell someone would do that he rattled off a list of things like "power, greed, respect." He told me about a twelve year-old he knew who had a sawed-off shotgun in his house because he'd been jumped by six or seven guys who stole his clothes and shoes, making him walk home in his undergarments. Vic works as much as he can so that he stays away from that. He tries to make money so that he can go to college. He has the right intentions...but he still sleeps with a gun next to his bed, and I pray that he never has to use it. So does he. I can't begin to imagine... I want my children to grow up in a safe environment. I want them to know that they'll have dinner on the table when they get home. I want them to be able to walk home from school worry-free. I want them to go to school without being concerned about weapons and drugs. But I don't want them to be blind. Current Mood: worried Current Music: Bjork (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 12th, 2004
2:33 am	Ugly cars Here's my top three ugly cars list, from least ugly to ugliest...let's make it a countdown: 3) Honda Element 2) Scion box-what-the-hell-were-the-engineers-thinking 1) Mercedes SUV-looks-even-boxier-than-the-Scion-and-prob'ly-needs-more-gas. ::Australian accent:: WTF, mate? Anyway...I'm gonna be an RA this year. I'll be in the burlodge and I'll have my car. Things are starting to fall into place. And I get to see Susan in a week. We celebrate our two-year anniversary on Wednesday. Hard to believe. Wait...no it isn't. I also taught a drumline in Florida for a week. Mr. Stein had some very flattering comments about my teaching. Prob'ly the best one was something along the lines of "You are buddies with all the students, but they also know when not to cross the line and when you're serious." That's exactly what I want out of my students when I teach. I want them to feel comfortable around me while still keeping in mind that they're under my tutelage for a reason. I really felt that with these kids. Granted, there were only seven of them, but you have to start somewhere. It all stems from respect. I respect the students and give them encouragement, trying new things to get the rhythms down, and they realize I'm trying to improve their musicianship and thereby respect me. By the end of the week, I had kids borrowing CDs from me 'cuz they liked the music I was showing them. I also had a bunch of the students tell me that they wanted me back the following year 'cuz the former instructors they had were jackasses. All of that plus a couple visits to Coldstone means I had a great week down in Florida. I also beat Jak & Daxter on PS2. Also cool. Our softball team lost tonight. I had some good defensive plays at second base...but I also had some bad defensive plays. This was the first round of the playoffs, and we are now eliminated...y'know, since we lost. I always feel responsible for us losing 'cuz for some reason, the last plays always come to me. I have to keep in mind that I also made some good plays...some. Geez, and we were even up 12-3 after the second inning. Ho hum. Last night, I saw a collection of musicians from several bands including Toad the Wet Sprocket, Nickel Creek, Elvis Costello and the Attractions, and Led Zeppelin. That's right...I saw John Paul Jones perform last night. The six of them were called Mutual Admiration Society, and they were fucking SWEET. Their vocal harmonies were amazing, and the mandolin player...wow. He was a beast. Great live show in a small setting...very chill, very fun. Two encores, etc. My parents bought a 36" flat screen TV with 6.1 Dolby Surround. It's their anniversary gift. With that purchase, they got another DVD player, so I think I might have one at school this year...in addition to the SNES. I think these are things an RA should have...y'know, in case the residents wanna chill. But then I'd need a couch of some sort...or seating. We'll see what I can come up with. I should get one or two of those fold-up camping chairs from Walmart or something. Sound investment...those things are sweet. It's been a busy time, but more than anything, I just miss Susan right now. Granted, I'll be seeing her soon and I'll be making a trip to Chicago for the OSU/Northwestern game, but that still isn't enough. I'm really hoping that she moves to Lansing soon. That'll allow for more time together. That's all I really want. Time. Granted, if she happens to find her niche in Milwaukee, far be it from me to ask her to move. If she's happy there, then that's what's most important. I need to keep telling myself that :-) Oh, and Michael Lerner (who works for my dad and is a parent of younger Solon students) has been mentioning that he has talked with other parents around the community who say that they certainly wouldn't mind me taking Curtiss' job once he retires. Boy would that be interesting. Tough act to follow, big shoes to fill, whatever saying you wanna use. Would I really wanna teach in Solon? And am I even deserving enough of the position? Better practice piano. I also have to get some rest. Four days of work left. Yowza. Good night angel bright. Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: "Prove Yourself" -Radiohead (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
2:30 am	Softball Someone remind me to not pay the $40 to play for the departmental softball league next year. A lot of the other departments are complete jerks. Our Entertainment team is 2-2, and both of those wins came in games where I wasn't present. I'm starting to think of giving my place up to someone else because my thinking tells me that I have a better chance of getting my $40 back (which the champion team does) than if I actually play. You may say to yourself "Benri, you can't be that bad!" But I pretty much am. Tonight, we played last year's champs, and we were up 12-8 after four innings. We were playing really well. But then they started hitting to me in left field. I let two playable balls go over my head, and that resulted in 6 or 7 runs...I can't remember. I was also the final out for our team. I did get on base twice and score once, but that's only because I can run pretty fast. At any rate, we endud up losing 21-18, which isn't too bad...but we would've won if not for me. The thing that bothered me most, though, was the way the other team was acting. It's expected that people will talk shit during these games, and we experienced it a lot in some of our other games. I expect it. But the team we played tonight was really just a bunch of assholes. One dude on our team, Ric, really wanted to start a fight, and I almost wouldn't have blamed him. Some dude on their team was running into him when going around the bases and talking shit about his mom. It was pretty blatant, and when Ric bit back, we were all telling him to be quiet and just play, but he made a good point: nobody on their team was telling their dude to shut his assmouth. They were all telling Ric to be shut up. It was pretty retarded. Oh, and their catcher loved talking shit to every batter that went up there. First he told me Michigan sucks, which I expect. I was wearing a Michigan shirt. Next at bat, he told me my necklace was crooked and that it looked funny...and that I'm a twig and that a stiff wind would blow me over. I had a bat and he didn't...the temptation to misuse it was pretty strong. I signed up for the league to have fun, but people like the Furlong Kadoodees (the name of the team we played) make me want to not play. They bring out the worst in me. So I think I'll just tell our team captain to bring in substitutes for me. I'll play if he can't find one, but I imagine just about anyone is better than me at outfield. I leave you with quotes from Flea: "I'm a little pea. I love the sky and the trees. I'm a teeny tiny little ant. Checkin' out this and that. And I am nothing, so you have nothing to hide. And I'm a pacifist, So I can fuck your shit up. Oh yeaaaah, I'm small. Oh yeaaaah, I'm small. Fuck you, asshole. You homophobic rednick dick. Big and tough and macho, you can kick my ass. So fucking what? So fucking what? So fucking what? So fucking what?" I like that last verse. Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: "Pea" -Red Hot Chili Peppers (Comment on this)
Monday, July 19th, 2004
7:57 pm	Napoleon Dynamite What kind of name is that?! I'll tell you. It's the name of one of the funniest characters in film that you will ever see. Everyone and their mother should see this movie. Actually, most moms prob'ly wouldn't get it, but I still think everyone should go. Great flick. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 13th, 2004
10:25 pm	Commercial update Here's some important things going on in my life. I don't have much time to type as we are merely in a commercial break for VH1's "I Love the 90's" (AMAZING!). - The RA thing got withdrawn. Still waiting. - Got my wisdom teeth out. Still swollen. - Susan's in Milwaukee. And on the phone. Bye. (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 26th, 2004
9:23 pm	Intelligence I am not intelligent. For a good portion of my life, I have been told that I am academically gifted and have an exceptional mind. I've believed it all until I began reading these books by John Holt, "How Children Fail" and "How Children Learn." I've discovered that in a world of producers and thinkers, I am a producer. And that is bad. Thinkers are people who are given a problem that challenges them (challenges, not threatens...that means it's in their capacity to complete the problem) and they wonder why this problem exists and which of their skills can be used to solve it. They reap great satisfaction from coming up with an answer, not because they have a response, but because they have simplified their world and now understand something else about it. Producers are people who are given a problem and focus solely on coming up with an answer. They don't care what the problem is about or what skills are necessary. They are merely concerned with finding an answer so that the stress of the problem disappears. They are people who would rather be wrong than uncertain because if you're wrong, you know it. If you're uncertain...well, you're uncertain. Ever since first grade, I have sped through classes like math and spelling because those are classes that, in elementary school, focus on producing answers. I just happened to be an excellent answer-producer. However, when given a problem that I did not understand, my methods collapsed and I merely produced something that would relieve the stress of uncertainty that weighed upon me. One such instance occurred in fourth grade when we were given little plastic eggs to look after for a couple weeks. We were to record our doings with them and turn the journal in at the end of the project for whatever reason. At first, I had no idea what to write. I kept thinking that I couldn't do anything with it because it was a plastic egg. Sure, we named them and drew faces on them, but it's plastic! What am I supposed to do with it? After about a week of complete confusion, I had a conference with my parents and teacher in regards to the project. They told me to be creative and treat the egg as if it were a little brother or something. So I made a story about me and "Eggford" going to the mall. In this story, he got kidnapped by aliens with guns. I somehow saved him using a helicopter or something...I can't entirely recall. At any rate, I pumped out a bunch of gibberish, producing an end result that the teacher didn't care for...but it was an end result, and that's all that mattered to me. Going through middle school and high school, I continued to excel in most area except for English. Of all my subjects, that was my least favorite because it was not a class in which I could produce answers. I got mostly B's which is sub-par for me. My parents were always saying that I could do better. The problem is this: I learned how to manipulate the system. Everything from spelling quizzes to standardized testing was in the palm of my hand because it all centered around producing answers. I rarely thought about what I was doing, and when I entered college, it showed. My classes actually wanted me to think, and I couldn't do it the way they wanted. Engineering was not for me in more ways than one. I didn't like it, but in addition to that, I wouldn't have been able to perform in these classes further down the road. Music is where I truly excel. It is the field I love to think about. There are no answers to produce, so it forces me to appreciate the inherent beauty of music. It just is. There aren't any equations or facts to memorize ('cept in music history...which I'm done with). Music simply is. By the way, I apologize to any people whose grammar I have corrected. That is such an asshole thing to do because it screams "I know more than you about English, and here's where you are lacking." That's something I'm going to eliminate from my habits as it is a terrible thing for an educator to do. Time to watch Matchstick Men. Good night angel bright. I love you. Current Mood: introspective Current Music: Some alto sax piece by Frederick Coke (Comment on this)
Friday, June 25th, 2004
3:41 am	First Tonight, for the first time, I broke 90 mph in the Corolla...after a 15 hour day of work. Good night angel bright. (Comment on this)